I already know this is going to peeve some people. But this is what is on my heart tonight.
A prelude to my actual blog post:
Two years ago Ryan left for boot camp, and we were only dating then.
It has been a really long two years since this journey began, but it's so beautiful now how everything has worked out, mostly because in a few short months, we will be introducing our beautiful daughter Mia to the world. :) Now, onto a short brag and into what I really want to talk about.
I have to really brag on Ryan because I don't know how he made it, not that he couldn't do it, but that I'm impressed with him and the man he has chosen to become. To me it says a lot about his character and mindset. He was determined to give us something better. He was and still is determined to make our lives easier and better. I'm sad that I know I take advantage of him. I'm sad that some days I can't do all of the things I want to do for him. I'm sad that I feel selfish a lot. I'm sorry if he feels that I am that way. But I really admire him for all he has accomplished. He survived 10 months of Marine Corps boot camp thanks to injuries. He graduated from two (MOS) schools, one as Honor Grad, which means at the top of his class. He got home and immediately found a job. He's constantly trying to save us money and make us money. He works a terrible shift all to make sure I have everything I need. How could I not be proud of him?
I have to be honest in this.
Nowadays women seem to fear the word "submission". "Wives submit to your husbands, husbands submit to your wives." I think a lot of people take this way out of context. All of what I have stated above is how I feel about that. Yes, all of me bragging on him is kind of what "submitting to my husband" looks like to me. I'm just as googly-eyed over him as I was 5 years ago.
Here is what Ephesians 5:22-33 ACTUALLY says:
22 Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.
25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church—30 for we are members of his body. 31 “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” 32 This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. 33 However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.
Nowhere in this passage do I see "WIVES MUST DO EVERYTHING FOR THEIR HUSBANDS AND DON'T GET AN OPINION ON ANYTHING".
I love and admire my husband. I long to please and respect him. I love to praise him and talk of all the good things he does for me. I respect his opinion, just as he respects mine. He loves me, I'm almost certain he adores me too. If any of you have seen us together you know that this is true. So why do people take that out of context? Is it a bad thing to submit to your husband? Are we having a power struggle or something?
I really don't like to always be the one to make the hard decisions. I'm a Military Wife, I have had my fair share of decision making before we were even married! Do you know how hard it is to make decisions when you can't even speak to that person? I will gladly hand over some rough decisions, along with how I feel, and leave him to make them. I love when he takes some pressure and stress off of me. (Isn't that what happens when we pray to God? I'll get to that point in a moment.)
Do you really believe THAT is what the Bible is trying to convey? (I think you would be crazy to believe that's what God is saying.) That we as wives have no say in anything and we need to answer our husband's beck and call?
Well, I don't know about any other wives, but I really try to answer my husband's beck and call. I promised my life to this man, and I love and respect him and want to please him just as he wants to do the same for me. I think I will answer his beck and call and submit to his wisdom just as he does the same for me.
Now onto the male perspective. I don't know if you have thought of it this way, but here's what I see when I read the passage directed to our lovely men.
It says that husbands should love their wives as Christ loves the Church. Are you familiar with how Christ loves the Church? I mean, he died for us, forgiving us for our sins. He models for us throughout all of the Gospels, how we need to treat people, and how we ought to be. I never see him striking anyone or condemning anyone, even the thieves who died with him were forgiven and given a place with him in Heaven. I don't know about you ladies, but that's the kind of man I want to be married to. I mean, Jesus is the ultimate husband, and that is not saying anything remotely bad on Ryan. Ryan's love for me has been a physical representation of God's love to me. Isn't that exactly what God calls for husbands to be? I think it is.
I think that's exactly what God is telling husbands. Be a physical representation of how he loves us. Be the "Man", whatever that's supposed to mean. Be all that you can be to your wives, do all that you can, whatever that may be. Wives do the same. It isn't a bad thing. I want to give everything I have to Ryan.
I think it's beautiful that I can share a similar relationship with my husband as I do with my Lord. I think Christ and the Church are the perfect example. (for you literalists, Church means people, like you and me, not a building. Church is not a building.) I'm thankful he gives us this reference as a reminder of his love for us. Plus, how awesome is it to be a physical representation of Christ and the Church?
SCORE ONE FOR HUMANITY!
So what I'm really saying is...
Get over it. It's a beautiful thing when you realize what it actually means, and stop taking it way out of context.
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